Ponyboy's Theme
by lbmontana
Summary: Everybody thinks Ponyboy is so different from everybody else just because he is quiet and the youngest but he's more like the rest of the gang than they think.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All Outsiders Characters belong to S. E. Hinton.

**Chapter One:**

After my shift ended I had hung around the DX for half an hour to talk to Steve about maybe going to a race on Friday night.

Steve said he couldn't as he had plans with Evie and after my boss yelled at me for keeping him from his work I decided to head back home as I didn't have anything else to do. I wasn't really looking forward to spending the next couple of hours by myself; not like I had a choice anyways.

This is one of those days where everybody else in the gang has some place else to be rather than at our house.

Steve had the late shift at the DX so he wouldn't be around until after nine.

Darry normally gets home by six but today he was picking up a couple of hours at the warehouse and wouldn't be back until at least midnight.

Pony was at track practice but when he came over to the DX at lunchtime with Two Bit and Steve he had said he was going to the library to get a history report out of the way, so I wasn't expecting him to show up until after nine either because that's when the library closes.

And Two Bit mentioned something about some blond he had got a number off of over at Bucks last night so I doubt he'll make an appearance before tomorrow morning. When he does show, I'm sure he'll have an interesting story to tell.

It's weird walking into our place and finding it quiet. Ever since Johnny and Dally died last fall things have been off like this.

Before, even if some of the guys were off doing something, Dal or Johnnycakes would be here or show up shortly after. Especially Johnny since he had nowhere else to go.

I sure do miss them; well, we all miss them of course.

Pony really misses Johnny but I was surprised by how much he ended up missing Dally as well. I mean, I know the three of them did stuff together, probably more so than with any other members of the gang but Pony had always seemed a little scared of Dal.

Since nobody else was going to be here there wasn't much point in making something fancy for dinner. So as I walked into the kitchen I settled on making a couple of sandwiches.

One good thing about being alone like this is that I can make things the way I like them without listening to everyone else grumble. Hey! I'll admit that some of my concoctions haven't always been the best but most are real tasty.

I could just hear the complaints about what I'm eating now. I mean, what's wrong with a peanut butter, banana, pickle, and potato chip sandwich? It tastes good, and it goes great with chocolate cake.

By the time I finished my banquet I didn't know what to do until the guys got here.

Usually we'd be playing cards or I would be telling them about some girl I met at the DX. Before Sandy left I would have given her a call and maybe convinced her to come over to the Dingo with me after dinner. Then I would have spent the next few hours sprucing up.

While I have gone on a few dates along with Steve and Evie, usually with one of her friends, I just haven't felt like getting into a relationship. The guys all say I should try, even Pony, though he hasn't been on a date yet himself.

So here it is 4:45 on a Thursday bored out of my mind!

I'm not tired enough to take a nap because work had been really slow today. No cars came in for me to work on and the boss decided to do all the restocking himself, so I just spent the day outside waiting for a car to pull up for some gas.

That wasn't too bad, since it was really nice out and I always enjoy being outside on days like this.

It's just that nobody came to the station today at all and until the guys came by for lunch I didn't have anybody to talk to.

With the month almost over, Darry's been nagging at us to get our room cleaned up for when the state pays their visit, which should be any day now.

Really, I don't know what those people expect! We're teenagers and there are _two of us_ sharing a room for crying out loud. It's not like we're a bunch of socs with a maid or something.

But I was getting desperate to find something to keep from going insane so I figured I'd hang up any clean clothes, dump a load in the washer and sort out the rest for Superman to do later.

"Darry should have joined the marines," I thought. "With all of his muscles and his 'everything neat and span' attitude he would have fit right in."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All Outsiders Characters belong to S. E. Hinton.

**Chapter Two:**

Wandering into our room, I started tossing all the tee shirts on the floor into a basket, which didn't take long to fill, before I headed to the washer.

I figured I would get these out of the way as we go through a lot of them _and _they don't have to be sorted.

Also I won't have to iron or do anything else to them.

If it involves more than just tossing them in I leave it for Darry.

Not that I couldn't do more, it's just that if something got messed up I'd never hear the end of it. With Money always tight Darry wants everything to last as long as possible.

When I got back to the room it only took a few minutes to separate the remaining clothes and dump them with the rest of the laundry waiting for Darry to do.

Since ninety percent of everything in the room was dirty it didn't take long to put the few clean items up.

Whenever Darry does laundry he dumps the clean stuff on our bed expecting us to put them up but it never happens. That's why he's always putting my DX shirts and our good clothes in his room so they stay nice.

"Well that was _fun_!" I muttered to myself. Golly, the clock only said 5:30. It had taken just 45 minutes to do all of that. "This is going to be one heck of a long evening."

There wasn't much else to do and I sure as hell didn't feel like dusting or anything, after all I'm no maid. So I decided to gather up Pony's books that were cluttering the floor.

The gang is always giving me grief about taking off my clothes and leaving them all over the place but Pony's just as bad. Whenever he finishes reading a book or his homework he just drops it wherever he's at.

Walking over to his side of the bed I stumbled on yet another book.

Bending down I saw that it was the one he had been reading last night for some school assignment.

When he had fallen asleep around one this morning it must have fallen besides the bed.

Apparently he had forgotten to take it to school with him. Or maybe he could remember all of it and didn't need it with him.

I was going to put it with the others I had picked up but then decided against it as he might still need it tonight.

When this occurred to me I was practically out the door, so instead of walking back across the room I decided to just toss it onto his desk.

Well, it made it alright but I also managed to knock everything off it as well.

Papers, even more books and the damn reading lamp crashed into a pile on the floor.

"Great, just great!"

I walked over and picked up the lamp.

Fortunately it was already beaten up from previous wrestling matches and fights so I couldn't tell if it had any new dents on it or not.

"Well, at least the bulb didn't break," I thought as I turned it on to see if it worked.

After I got the books back to where I _thought_ Pony kept them I gathered up his papers.

Most of them were just homework with a few drawings mixed in.

He's really talented but he keeps it hidden from the other guys as they'd just make fun of him.

Especially Steve, because who ever heard of a greaser being an artist.

And Pony is proud of being a greaser even if he is going to be better than the rest of us someday.

Among the papers were two composition books.

It took a bit before I realized they were his theme from last semester.

His English teacher Mr. Syme had him write a theme instead of trying to make up all of the work he had missed during all the trouble.

Neither of us had read it but I already knew more or less what was in it.

After Syme had finished grading it, he gave it to the school counselor our social worker thought would be a good idea for Pony to go to and we ended up getting called down to her office after she had looked at it.

Besides being a "good piece of literature," she also thought it was a great outlet for all of the emotions Pony had gone through and encouraged him to keep it up. But I don't think he ever bothered with it. Or at least I never saw him writing in them.

She also thought it would be a "great idea" if we took the time while we were all there to discuss it and by the time we had left she had practically read the whole thing to us.

That was not a fun afternoon.

Pony felt humiliated, Dar looked pissed and I sat there feeling out of place while this woman we didn't know brought up issues that weren't any of her business.

After we got back home I thought Darry was going to explode since he doesn't like non-family, meaning somebody other than the gang, knowing about what happens around here.

He surprised me though. I guess he had paid attention to what Pony had wrote about and the two of them have gotten along better since.

Darry's still strict but he has lightened up a bit so he's not nagging about every little thing, like Pony getting his homework done.

Dar just never understood that he'd get the stuff done quicker if he wasn't force to do it.

Other than perhaps his math homework, which he really hates. He's in the advance class so it's really hard and it doesn't involve reading.

Occasionally he does need help there but when he does, he's smart enough to ask for it.

Another thing that surprised me was how observant he had been about things that went on around him. He wrote about things like how I cried when my horse Mickey Mouse was sold or what the gang was going through at different times over the last year, especially Johnny. Everyone knows he's book smart but he comes across like he doesn't pay attention to anything or anyone but I guess he really does.

What disappointed me the most though were his feelings toward Steve and him thinking that Steve hates him.

Of course I've always known that they don't _like_ each other.

I mean, come on the hostility between them is pretty obvious; even if they think they're hiding it.

But what I hadn't realized was just how deep it went and I'm not sure what to do about.

I don't think Steve actually _hates_ him but I don't really know about that either anymore or even what his problem with the kid is since Steve refuses to talk about it.

And I know if Steve wasn't an ass to him all the time Pony would probably like Steve.

I just always figured that once Pony physically grew up and looked less like a kid, _even if he is younger than us_, Steve would get over his problems with Pony. But that hasn't happened yet and the kid doesn't look like a kid anymore either.

He's already surpassed me in height and his coach had the guys in the weight room during winter and he put on a lot of muscle.

Pony's becoming a real combination of Darry and me, even though Dar will probably always be taller and more muscular but Pony won't be far behind. And he's looking more like me all the time or at least that's what all the girls at the DX say.

"Well, it's not like I got anything else to do," I thought as I picked it up, "Might as well see what this thing was really all about."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: All Outsiders Characters belong to S. E. Hinton.

Please Note: It will be a little while before I update again. I know what I want to say but I have to figure out how to put it down. Also thanks to those who have read this story and to the three of you who have left reviews.

**Chapter Three:**

Honestly, I wasn't all that interested in reading what went on back than as it brought back too many bad memories but I was curious to see what his teacher had thought about it.

Mr. Syme had promised to give Pony a C for the quarter but because of the amount of work he had put into it, Syme ended up giving him a B- instead.

Also the counselor we talked too that day told us not to worry about his bad grades all that much as Pony was only in his first semester of high school and due to the extraordinary circumstances, colleges will usually overlook them.

That made Darry real happy as he's still hoping that Pony will decide to go to college one day.

When I got to the part about me, I had to laugh at where Pony wrote that I never touch a drop of beer. Oh, don't get me wrong I don't come anywhere close to Two Bit, heck I'm not even like Steve but once and awhile it's nice to go out, blow off some steam and have fun.

What I don't do is go around getting myself plastered like all the other JDs on this side of Tulsa do every other day.

The funny thing about it is that councilor who read this believed it too!

When we got back I had to ask Pony about it since he knows better and basically, he told us that a lot of things in the theme weren't completely true.

He didn't want Mr. Syme or anybody else that might read it to know about stuff that could get us in trouble or was _really_ personal. So he took some "literary license" with his work.

That made Darry breath a little easier and I was happy that he didn't get into a lot of detail about Sandy and me.

The first booklet was filled with comments written in the margins that mostly concerned grammatical errors but Mr. Syme did have a lot of nice things to say too and not just about his writing style. He seemed to really care about what Pony had gone through, which is pretty rare for a teacher around here to be bothered to give a shit about a greaser, even if he does get good grades.

It didn't take me long to get through the first composition book. If I didn't already know better I wouldn't have believed that he wrote this much in just one weekend.

I place the booklet back on the desk and picked up the other one.

These little booklets have 100 sheets in them I knew Pony had only used about the first ten in this one so I skipped to where Mr. Syme had wrote a lengthy response to the theme.

As I was finishing up Syme's thoughts on the events of that week, I got a bit of a shock.

On the following page after Syme had left off, there was more writing in Pony's hand. I quickly flipped through the rest of the pages and saw that they were filled.

"Wow! I guess he'd decided to keep writing about things after all," I thought. Though, when he'd found the time or managed to do it without one of us catching him I don't know.

I feel kind of guilty about this but you know, I'm really curious to see what he wrote.

It's not like Pony has been depressed lately like he was for the first couple of months after the fire but he's still just isn't the same and probably never will be.

But he also won't talk to me like he use to either!

I try to get him to open up but he just mumbles that he's fine or there's nothing to talk about.

Before, he use to share his thoughts between Johnny and me. Johnny would hear about all the things he didn't think that I or Darry should know about, like I do with Steve.

Now that Johnny's gone I keep worrying that if he keeps all of these things to himself it'll kill him eventually.

So if the only way I'm going to find out what's going on inside my baby brother's head is by reading this stuff than that's what I'm going to do.


End file.
